Advice from couples: Pivoting during a pandemic

It’s been a year. It’s been the longest, shortest, chaotic, mind blowing year. And the one thing I found that we all could use is a giant dose of is support. So this one is for you: couples. Specifically, couples who have had to pivot their original wedding plans to meet the sign of the times, a Covid friendly intimate wedding. I have spent countless hours this year chatting with couples who have to reschedule… and then reschedule again… and then again, and while I know so much about the vendor perspective, I truly felt this couldn’t be written through that lens. So I reached out to as many couples as I could and got their take. I asked them if they had any advice for couples who are opting for a smaller, more intimate wedding. So if you are finding yourself in the position of having to make some pretty big changes to your original wedding plans, or you are wondering how best to support someone in this position… cue the wisdom of couples who have been there and have your back.

Mindset is Everything

Easier said than done right? Embracing a new mindset is not about sweeping away feelings or denying that sometimes… shit sucks. But once everything is said in done, it is instead regaining control of your narrative. What can be done to make the most of the situation you’re in? What thoughts are fueling our behaviors and how can we harness those to make decisions that will ultimately bring us joy?

“I am the master of taking something and giving it a positive spin. I teach first grade and we teach growth mindset early on. My wedding was no different. I chose to look at this “Covid wedding” as the new new. I was at the front of the line for this new and innovative way of celebrating love. How cool is that!? The hardest part for us was getting our parents behind this mindset. They want the best for us. It took a lot of time, but they finally saw what we saw. They finally got behind the excitement of this fun challenge. From our perfect photos, you can’t even tell we had a small Covid wedding. We went all out for the ceremony. We ended the day with a champagne toast and cake! It was just enough and perfectly perfect. *edit* I waited 15 damn years for this wedding lol.”

“Try to see this as a whole different plan/day/experience”

“Remember it’s not about the wedding but about getting married to your person”

Embrace Intimacy

Something that I think is most surprising for couples on their wedding day, is how little time they actually get to spend alone. Of course, that time is not being wasted but instead delegated in many different directions. Intimate weddings allow you to narrow your focus, the agenda is simplified, and in turn you are given space to fill however you’d like.

“Personally, we were able to soak up our wedding day so much more intimately. We only had our bridal party and our immediate family in attendance and we were able to have one on one time with every single person there. We were able to take intimate time with one another instead of having to make the rounds to say hello to everyone there. It was stress free and honestly so perfect for us! My advice to anyone making this transition would be to be "selfish" with the decision. The hardest part for me was feeling guilty for not having certain family members of friends there when we wanted them there, but realistically I couldn't. I had to remind myself that it was OUR day and we had full control over who was invited and who was not.”

“Utilize the intimacy. Less people means less interactions, less conversations, less hugs, less everything. With an intimate wedding you can take full advantage of truly soaking up every moment with the people that are closest to you and more importantly with your SO. The day goes by so fast, I would encourage anyone making this transition to lean into the intimacy and soak up every single moment.”

Screw Tradition

As was mentioned early on in this blog post, there is a “new new” happening here. As our plans pivot, as our resources are reorganized, you may find you have more freedom than you initially thought. What do you want to do with this time you’ve been given? What do you want to create with the day you have reshaped and reclaimed?

“F*** traditions. There were so many "traditions" I felt like I still felt like I had to do at our downsized wedding that would have just been awkward or uncomfortable for me, so we said no thank you! I would say only lean into traditions that truly fit you and your personality and don't feel the need to incorporate something in to the day just because you're "supposed to."

“Focus on what you want from the day and not feeling pressured from fam/friends”

“Be flexible, speak honestly with your vendors, do what makes you feel good about your day”

A HUGE thank you to all of the couples who gave their input on this crazy year! Weddings may look different now, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t as special. Thank you for following along, and make sure to follow me on Instagram to keep up with all the exciting things going on! And if you’re in the market for a COVID friendly photographer, my DMs are always open. See you next time!